thats-ms-hsv-2-you

thats-ms-hsv-2-you:

iamemmajay:

I genuinely don’t know wether to be upset of if I’m being too harsh.
I contracted herpes, a long time ago, altogether including my current partner of 4 years I’ve slept with 10 people. I have no clue who gave it to me and I’ll never know. My partner now, who I’m very serious with, doesn’t like…

I don’t think you’re being too harsh, at all. Every guy that came before him had a hand in creating the person he fell in love with, and he should be open to acknowledging that. So what if one of them gave you herpes? One of them probably introduced you to music you both love, taught you how to cook something delicious he enjoys, left you with some neat tricks he reaps the benefits of. In my opinion, there’s no harm in remembering some of those details; I think it’s childish that the notion you’ve been with anyone else ever shuts him down.

It’s not your fault at all you’ve been with more people than he has (come on, you can still count them on your fingers!), and he should grow up a little perhaps and get over it. You had to go through all those boys to figure out that you wanted/needed the man that he is. It’s just a longer process for some people, I guess, and that’s okay.

L and I regularly talk about the past people in our love lives. There’s no fear and no jealousy, those peeps are in the past for a reason. Discussing people in your past, though, can help sort out why you do things in the present.

Thanks!! :) I would like to get to that point eventually, and you have made some really amazing, valid points that I can bring up. I’ll just have to ease into the conversations gently and when he’s in a nice confident mood. Even if I just shoot out a random sentence here and there nonchalantly to de-sensitize him. Eventually we will get there I suppose! And I guess there isn’t a reason to get worked up and upset about it, he’s still only 21 and is just maturing at a slower pace, and he has bad confidence and self worth issues. Even if it takes a while I know deep down we are in this for the long haul, so we will get there!

I genuinely don’t know wether to be upset of if I’m being too harsh.
I contracted herpes, a long time ago, altogether including my current partner of 4 years I’ve slept with 10 people. I have no clue who gave it to me and I’ll never know. My partner now, who I’m very serious with, doesn’t like to talk about my herpes. He accepted it fine, he never calls me names about it and when I’m not having an outbreak nothing is different between us. Even during an outbreak nothing is different, but when I try and talk slightly about it or make a general comment he goes quiet. NOW the reason for this being - he really doesn’t like thinking about the other boys (they’re definitely not men) that I’ve slept with. It’s not the herpes, because he has never liked talking about it, it’s just that he hates picturing me with them. And me trying to talk about my outbreak reminds him of that and he gets upset. This does upset me slightly, ideally i would like to talk more openly about it, but do you think I have a right to be angry? Or am I being too harsh and hasty? Perhaps the past needs to stay in the past and I shouldn’t talk about it anymore, even though my herpes is in my present and future. Everyone accepts this diagnosis at different times.. And I’ve only had the diagnosis a year (contracted at least 5 years ago, first outbreak ever 1 year ago), so I understand it might just simply need more time. Or he will never get over it, until were much much older and the fact I slept with too many boys doesn’t bother him anymore (I’m only his second). Maybe I have a right to be upset, that in a perfect textbook relationship we would be completely open, and none of the other boys would matter to him because I’m with him now. But I suppose this isn’t like relationships on tv and nobody is perfect. My past isn’t perfect and if I could change it I would. Perhaps I just need to accept that I will feel slightly upset, but still be happy and move on with our relationship, and also accept that neither of us are perfect, he is bound to be upset thinking of me being with other boys just like I’m bound to be upset that he’s upset. But we are both very much in love and maybe that’s all that matters, even if some things we just won’t ever be able to talk about.

itcaughtmebysurprise

carpeumbra:

kittengrin:

kittengrin:

carpeumbra:

kittengrin:

carpeumbra:

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